After weeks of fighting with the world I have finally been able to balance school, a social life and sleep. For the most part it has been a great week but recently thing aren’t what I hoped, seeing that today was a “study” day most people use this time to go to Disneyland or do thing with friends. I had plans, great plans. Emily and I where going to go to Tiffany’s and look at their selection; I need a new money clip and may look around for a new ring without any agendas, while she was going to get a bangle. So going on the assumption that I was still going to to that I blew off all my other offers to go to Disneyland and Yosemite. She calls me Last night to tell me that she has other plans and that she will try to reschedule. So for the entire day I have been in place that pretty much seems like a ghost town. I am not comfortable with all this down time because it seems I’m not doing what I’m suppose to be doing.
Midterms start on Monday and I’m ill prepared for most of my classes. It’s not that there so much harder than last year, I’m just haven’t had the motivation to do all the homework and reading for the only class that isn’t music. Add to that, Christine that is in Sao Paulo and try to have conversations with her at all hours of the night. For one I would really appreciate if we could be in the same hemisphere for about three days, or at least with in a three time some space.
This weekends is going to be very hard for me to be motivated to do anything. I’ll probably just take sleeping pills and sleep throughout the weekend and do some practicing but nothing too much, most people are out of town. three day weekends. I just wish…. wounds would heal. This is what I dislike about not having anything to do, you self-examine life. And it doesn’t matter where in life you can be you will always focus on the negative and then you will try to fix but you just can’t.
Someday I’ll be happy.
Someday I’ll have fun.
I wonder when someday will come?