As some of you know, this thanksgiving I did not spend it with my family, or a part of my family or even friends(well in a way with friends). I singed up to go to Mexico as a Mission trip from wednesday to today, Sunday. and there are various groups ranging from mens’/womens’ prison to construction, from soup kitchens to helping with children….

So I was was there for three and a half days… no shower and no running water… But I have gone camping before and for much longer so it wasn’t really a problem for me…. and in all truth I enjoyed it… getting out the city and getting back to nature.

I was assigned to a group called “Pez y Pan” (fish and bread) but it has nothing to do with feeding anyone…. we help out at a local church in Ensenada with their after school program which really isn’t a program…. just play with kids and not hurt them…. oh….. I totally forgot this very important detail….. I was in a group with nine other people that had a limited Spanish vocabulary….. So I was a interpreter…. yay for speaking spanish (*cough*not*cough*)

A run down of the the first day…. we left APU at 4:30 pm ish and we hit traffic and got to Ensenada around 12 am… to set up tents and get comfortable…. by the time we were done it was around 2:30…. ( the other tent we had no instructions and was one of those huge tents that fit an entire Mexican family…. all 12 of them) So We I was getting ready for bed another caravan had gotten there and they were setting up their tents…. long story short…. I fell asleep around 3:30…..

Only to be woken up at 7:00 am for breakfast pancakes and canned pears…. yep… that was breakfast…. and when I was eating I was told I had a meeting with the other interpreters and yeah I was late and whatnot. At 8 we had chapel and it was ok…. we got at our church around 10:30 and we chilled and for about two hours before kids got out of school (kids are let out at noon) and yeah kids with candy and not enough sleep…. not a good combination….. so we get back to camp around 5:30… and not joke I knock out on my ass in less than 15 minutes… got dinner and then another chapel…. close of 1st day

Second day:early morning same as 1st day…. then after chapel we went to a candy shop and got things for kids and all those good thing they like….. and we spend time and I translated and we got tacos for lunch and whatnot…. go to church and did our thing…. dinner at 7 and another chapel…

Yesterday…. we gave the lil’ children a party but also gave the gospel and it was great…but i dunno…..

A lot of people were like “wow, the LORD has blessed me” and what not….. I was trying like really hard to do my best and be all good but…. I really didn’t feel anything….. which is kind of strange for me…. seeing that I am such an emo person. I was there and saw kids in poverty and saw their church and everything and the only thing on my mind was….. when are we going to port so I can buy a cuban cigar…. some fireworks…. and what am I going to buy on the way back….. I wasn’t “touched” like every one else…. I was there just doing what I had to do….. “faking” that I wanted to be there.

Is there something wrong with me? Have I lost something?

I know I did something good but my heart wasn’t in it….. and the theme of the camp/missions trip was “Surrender” ….. I have Already surrendered my life/soul/spirit to GOD…. I have given him my plans/talents…… I have even given up my Identity, Music and audio engineering….. what else it there to surrender?….. there isn’t anything else…. I have been fasting every other week for GOD to speak to me and He has been Silent….

But back to the lil’ kids…… During Winer break I am going to be helping out Brittany, A girl in another group, with a documentary about kids in the streets selling candy and were they live and what the Mexican government is now doing to remedy that situation…. I really don’t know what this will do or what I am going to do with this documentary…. maybe show it to raise some money to help fund this program that is helping kids in Mexico….. or just help and expand that situation of how kids live in mexico.