Random Thoughts

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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This is something I had written before I was offered my current job. Just a few thoughts that might resonante with some people in similar situations.


I’m sure some of you have notice over the few last months I’ve been doing a lot of traveling. Some domestic, some international. Some for family related affairs, but mostly for business. In the middle of last December I notice that I’d been somewhat neglecting my trade. Actually, neglecting it quite a bit. I told myself this is the year I would rememdy that and I have, in a way. I’ve done more work in music and post this year than all of 2010 and 2009. But that’s not saying much as these weren’t the best years for my freeelance work.

Why all the trips to various places in such a short of time? Work. A better answer is, looking for work. I’m fairly young but have 10 years of experience in music industry. My resume reads of that of a mid-thrity year old instead of a twenty something. I usually get called up for a few gigs here and there, most of these peope not knowing who I am, hire me on recomemdations of others. But when I show up, I’m usually glanced over thinking I’m an assistant, a roadie, and ask when my boss will be here. When I let them know who I am, they usually back peddle or think I’m joking around. This has also been the case with interveiws around the country.

The people and companies I’ve met with explain that I’m either too qualified, or under qualified. Too much experience or just not enough. It boggles my mind. I have done what was expected of me; create a career at a young age, foster that talent and keep doing what I love, to be in place where I can’t get a job because of these situations.

I’ve been advised to look for work in a different field, and I have but I don’t have 5 years of retail or office experience. I have ten years of busting my ass in the music industry. From running out at 3 am to get burgers for “rockstars,” to filing proposals for a merger and acquisitions. I have learned to read schematics for circutry, soldering fixes almost anything electronic in a recording studios, jury ringing solutions for live performances, understanding psychoaustics. Designing and building several recording studios across the US, gone to college because that’s what everyone is expected to do. Sit me in front of a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) or a notation software and I will figure it out.

Yet, here I am trying to meet with anyone that will not laugh in my face when this 20 something kid has 10 years of experience and it’s glanced over.

Is this really a symptom of reverse agism? They believe because I look young, dress a bit more modern, I don’t have the same conviction as them I will not perform they way they anticipate. Or that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the pressure of a very hectic work environment. Which all bunch of crap. If only they gave me a shot. I would work for a per diem for month as a probationary period. If I am able to rise to the their standards, I get the job. If not, I would leave on my own accord. I know what it takes. I’ve done it. I can do it again. I just need someone ot give me an oppurtunity.

I have no other skills than music. Music production, running a studio, A&R, and some music law. That’s my life, that’s what I built. Sadly, things don’t work out they way you want then to. The place where I started as a go-fer (runner) was closed down earlier this year. Part of me wishes I had the means or oppurtunity to buy it before it went under. Trying to give back to those… like I was so fortunate.

Maybe I made a mistake… I am reminded of a very foolish thing I did when I was younger. I was new at a church, recently converted, I asked God for patience. At the time i did not understand the huge implications of what I was asking. While I am a very patient person I have learned this trait; it’s a hard trait to lean. The only way to acquire more pateince is to wait.

I feel like that smart, nerdy kid at school that raises his hand at evey question the teacher asks. With eargerness he awaits for the teacher to call on him. Sometimes even yelling, “Pick me, pick me. I know the answer.” And the kid becomes disappointed when he’s not call upon.

I have the skills… I have the drive, but yet I haven’t been called on. There isn’t much I can do, other than to wait, not passively, but wait nontheless.

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience

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