Random Thoughts

50 Things

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It’s late and it seems like I’m not going to get any sleep tonight. Out my circle of 8 close friends tomorrow the 5th one gets married, with the other two planing on engagement in the near future. So I’m going to write instead.

Some people have notice that I don’t share a lot about life and there are good reason why I don’t, but I am willing to share a bit more.

1. I have a record that was sealed at the age of 18.
2. I don’t talk much about my family because it mainly involves drama.
3. I don’t like drama in my life.
4. I haven’t told any girlfriends that I love them, except one, but I’m not quite sure if it was true.
5. I have considered disowning myself from my family.
6. I am the way am is because I have been groomed to be someone I don’t want to be.
7. My parents are disappointed in my career choice, in turn, they are disappointed in me.
8. I’m a hopeless romantic. I can’t help it.
9. I don’t judge. I listen and let you carry on with your life.
10. Everything I own, bought, or have I have worked for and bought myself.
11. I hurt those around me. If I push you away, it means that I care and don’t want to hurt you.
12. I emancipated myself at age of 17 and moved to New York.
13. I lived in New York for a year on my own.
14. I moved back to LA to go to school at APU in January of 2005.
15. During the 3 years at APU, I tried to move 4 times.
16. I was kicked out of APU because of poor grades.
17. I can be heartless at times, but it always affects me.
18. Empathy is something I have learned to suppress even though sometimes it gets the best of me.
19. I am the only son, grandson, great grandson on my father’s side of the family because of tradition.
20. I do not hold a V-card.
21. In my younger years I did things that I am so ashamed of that I cannot repeat them.
22. I have broken up with girlfriends so they could be happy with other people.
23. I am in treatment for a genetic liver disease, NAFLD; specifically, NASH.
24. I had an obsession with watches because my father was always late to everything.
24. I can’t stand girls who are empty-headed. Or easy. Or ones who change themselves for their boyfriends. They all piss me off.
25. I am shunned from my mother side of the family because my mother is a bastard and I have the genetic trait that the Patriarch carries.
26. I never meet my grandfathers. They both died before I was born.
27. I met my great grandfather. He told me I would great things for the family. At this point in time I’m not quite sure about that.
28. When he died, he said good bye to me in dream. I later when down stairs and picked up the phone before it rang to be told that he had past away.
29. In recent years I have distanced myself from my own family.
30. I have a older half sister which is estrange from my father. They no longer talk to each other.
31. I learned to cook because of need not because I wanted to.
32. My mother has never approved of any girl I have brought home, excluding Claudia. Due to that I rarely introduce my girlfriends to my parents.
33. I usually disappear for a few days.
34. I have a will that no one can break.
35. I fight for what I believe in and usually get what I want, within reason.
36. I had an Uncle in the clergy. He died from the same liver disease I have.
37. I can’t remember the last time I cried.
38. I dislike most types of beer.
39. I have always had a connection with the “other side”. At age 3 had seen about 10 ghost.
40. I have premonitions ever now and then.
41. From time to time I randomly wake up at 3:11 am, the time I was born and the time my great grandfather died.
42. I’ve suffered for chronic depression since my soccer injury.
43. My soccer injury wouldn’t had happened if I wouldn’t had used epinephrin to dull the pain of soccer injuries.
44. I played soccer for 10 years. In those ten years my parents never made it to a single match.
45. My father taught me accounting at the age of 10.
46. I’ve been told that I am not boyfriend/husband material.
47. I dislike being vulnerable.
48. I have a 3mm tear on my right ACL. I have no plans in having surgery to “fix” it.
49. I suffer from Osteoarthritis, a degenerative joint disease.
50. I never bounced back from my soccer injury. It seems like that day is the day I died. This is what is left from that person.

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