As the week has progressed I am constently reminded that I am not completely satisfied with have I have, or with what I’m doing. So in the effort of making my life better, I’m just going to start cutting people out of my life. I really try to keep a low profile around school mainly because I hate drama and I already have to much to do with work. I am determined to fix what is wrong with me. If that means that I have to cut some people out of the picture, I’m totally fine with that.
These two last weeks, the choir I am in had to learn three new songs for Dinner Rally, a dinner where the Alums are invited and asked to donate money to the school. This money is mainly used for scholarships. One of those songs really hit me and couldn’t get it out my head for the life of me.
It goes as follows:
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
Come Thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
And teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I’ll praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love
Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood
Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
And let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Performed by Passion Band
I’ve tried not to put a Christian spin onto everything I write, to respect anyones’ beliefs that reads this, but hear me out.
With the event that happened in my life this summer I have been very jaded in the whole Christian thing. I have really let my spiritual life wander, I haven’t had that calling to fix it. These words have really spoken to me. It reminded me of the promised that I had made at the beginning of the year, you know, the one I said I was going to take break from dating. I’m going to take some time and find myself.
No Really. I noticed that in the last two years I’ve been in two really serious relationships. I’ve changed, the situations around have changed, and I am going to try and let God show me what to do with life. If I am feeling discontent with my life there has to be a reason and hopefully God can give me some direction.
So in response to this I’ve decide to take thing off hold with Claudia and just let it go. Completely break it off. No, ‘just in case’ or ‘if by this time’.
I give my heart to the Lord, for Him to take and seal it, to Seal it for Thy courts above. For Him to show me His way.