Over the summer I made great process in my personal life. I stop taking MAOI’s (anti-depressants). I was able to deal with emotions and problems from over three years for the first time without being under medication. I handled them fairly well. Yes, there were times I thought things were out my hands, but I pushed through. Summer was pretty much void from drama; I worked a lot and usually hung out with very chill people. I felt like I was in control of my life once more, even though I did not have a clear view of where I was headed. Now as fall has started there has been a few obstacles that have driven me back to medication. I really don’t want to get into the specifics because they are pretty much irrelevant.
Why express this?
Well, I’m not sure. I started to think that I keep to many things close to my chest. Most people say they really don’t know who I am. Maybe this a way to let people in.
I have facades, just like everyone else… I’m trying to slowly take them off to understand whom I really am. I am afraid that if I hide under these facades for much longer I will no longer be able to recognize myself in the mirror.
To clarify, I am just bit down, well very down. I’m still the same person, just taking some medicine to get me through the day. Depression is a disease… I am taking steps to get better.