Posted on October 10, 2007 by

Discontent

Sorry for the lack of writing. I do it enough for classes that I haven’t had the time to do for pleasure. Since the last time I wrote there a few things that have changed. For one, classes are in full effect and I’ve done better this year to keep on top of my classes but not good enough. I decided that I would take a much lighter course load to be able to work a bit more or at least be able to study/read for the classes I am taking. That, in theory, would help be get me better grades. Let’s see if it works. Two, I was able to get a great job for the end of December which is step up from what I have been doing since I’ve return to LA. Lastly, I’ve come to terms with my older sister and have promised to help her out in anyway possible.

Recently I was able to attend the musical, Wicked, at the Pantages in Hollywood. It’s not the same as going to a musical in Broadway, but because I was doing it, I tried to do it in style. I was able to have a great time with friends and just enjoy great (good?) theater. Seeing that theater is not my forte, I have had some sort of urge to become more of a patron of the arts. I’m trying to stretch myself a bit more of out my comfort zone with going to see plays and art galleries and probably going to the LA Phil sometime soon. So if anyone knows of things or want to go to any function just tell me and I will try to make time.

I have tons a great things happen to me recently, jobs in the area have been blooming, I’ve been having great times with friends, I’ve been invited to two conferences, money wise I’m doing well. Yet, I feel discontent. To clarify, I will be very specific with the definition of discontent.

discontent |ˌdiskənˈtent|
noun
lack of contentment; dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances

It does not say or mean that I am not happy or that I am sad. It just states that I am not satisfied with my circumstances. The problem is that I don’t know with what circumstance(s) I am not satisfied with. I’ve been as social as possible, I’ve been actually been trying to practice when I can. There really isn’t a way I am able to explain in words. It just something that is missing but it not a lacking of it. I understand that this doesn’t make sense but this is the best way I am able explain it.

Maybe, I feel like this because I should be doing more with what I have. Yet, I have not idea what that could entail. It doesn’t seem like I have a emptiness in my life, its more like there is something I could be doing to compliment what I already have to just tip me over to feeling better.