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Things have been different since this past weekend. I don’t know if its just me or if its everyone.
Laura is not usual self. When I went to visit her on Monday, she wasn’t her usual smily self, and she asked me to leave after sometime. Yesterday, I barely had anything to talk to her, just because we have tons of classes and very different schedules. Today at chapel, I really don’t know how to describe this. Maybe the best way to put it, is that I felt her ache, her brokenness, her hurt. I don’t know if this is because I want to understand what’s she going through, or because I, myself, have been on a roller coaster of emotions lately, or it could my empathy reaching out.
She said she doesn’t want to talk about it and I respect her decision, but because I genuinely care I want to help. I am concern for her. It’s just very hard for me as her friend, as man, not being able to help her or fix whatever her problem is. It just a bit frustrating.
Since the leaving Madrid I have started to read, what I believe to be my uncle’s first journal. According to what is written it’s between his late teens to early twenties. I have read a good 50 pages, mind you it is very small hand writing in very educated and sophisticated Spanish(Spanish is not my first language). I also want to understand what was going on in his surroundings to better understand different aspects that one would overlook.
I know that reading these journals will not bring him back. I know that I will never be able to know him if he was alive. But I am reading them because they where given to me. There has to be a reason for that, I might not understand it now but maybe later in life. The more I read about his life the more I understand myself. It seems like we both share some kind of life line or something.