During this week off the only thing I have been able to think off is, Am I making the right choice of pursuing a career in music? Let me explain, I am ok musician and have a decent ear but I no match to other musicians that have been playing for years, I barely started to learn piano six months ago, know music theory for a year. But what I do have a is drive, determination. Once I put my mind on something I usually get it. I’ve been like this ever since I was small, and I do understand that you can’t always get what you want.

So what does faith and secrets have to do with any of this? I have to have faith that this will be able to pay my bills when I grow up, that this where I plan to do for some part of my life and that I enjoy it enough to do this day in, day out for some time. Have faith that I will be able to go a studios and get job or projects, even at low ball studios. I am one of a dying breed. I understand this very much because I am seeing it first hand. Many singers are songwriter, they write their own song, which entails makes them more money, and give them more freedom, but the industry is changing so much, so fast that singer don’t only want to be the songwriter but they want to be the recording/audio engineer; they want to replace me. Its a growing trend that singers or a member of the band is a executive engineer(not an assistant but a partner of the first engineer) and there even those so forego that and just mix everything themselves, built multi-million dollar recording studios in there homes. This is what worries me, I have been working in this industry for about 4 years, my talent have improved, as they should, but they are not as they should be. I know I can be better, but I hesitate because of this. There are no guarantees in life, much less in this industry. Those luckily to sign with a studio have jobs set for three years tops, from there you either go freelance(which is what I have been doing for a while) or you have meet enough people to either: A) open you own recording studio, B) become a scout for record labels or C) become a producer.

I am hitting a wall with my talents, this is my secret, I can do better but I hesitate because I am in the uncertain place, if I continue I could create a great life for me, I have the drive and the determination to succeed, but what of those around me? This a very, very time consuming job, sometime I am called out of town, and if some day I wish to have a family, this might be a very hard issue, because it was an issue between my dad and me. I don’t want to be like him. But do I have another choice.

If I push my myself I know I can expand my talent and my ears(very important) to do this the best. People I have worked with have told me that I have what it takes to become someone in this industry because of my hard work and understanding of the industry at such a young age. Mind you I am 20 and have been working in the industry for 4 years, many of the recording/audio engineer are about 40. So yeah, that makes me feel great.

Secret are just an ulcer in you stomach and just eat away at form the inside,and they are relieving when you tell them, but word of caution; Once a secret is out, there is no turning back.